Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Demystifying Facebook

Now that I am back from my holidays and settled into the monotony of my daily life, the only spark left in my office life is Facebook(I have my young daughter to light up my  life at home)

I log in to it first thing in the morning for my daily dose of humor. I find the posts from friends and friends of friends funnier than the updates from Calvin and Hobbes page that I subscibe too.

The FB users can be classified into 4 broad categories. They being :-

1.I don't care
2.I care about making you care
3.I care but its uncool to show that I do
4.I care , You care (as in you like my pictures and I will like yours)

The first ones are the sullen lot who created an FB account and then forgot all about it. But once in a while when their baby/toddler/child accomplishes a feat that they feel was tougher than conquering mount Everest ,you see updates  from them

So one fine  day you have pictures with titles like “Ayaan tying his shoe laces” and posts like “Yippee Maggie is toilet trained :)”

They are most uninteresting lot and I grade them lowest in the funny quotient. But a spelling mistake from them can make your day. For e.g. "My Kids love going to the zoo. Their excrement is worth watching". 
Well , No thanks I am not interested in watching any more excrement.My daughter shows me enough of it already. But on a positive note let’s just say that they are nice people and nice people don't have interesting lives do they?

The second lot is my favorite. Trust them to pep up your life every single day. So if you post the picture of your brand new car say an Alto the reply that you will most likely get is "Wow Congo.Thats a very reliable car. And great color too. My Honda city is the same color."

So you know that they have made their point and accomplished the purpose of their existence on FB. You see regular updates from them and titles on their pictures range from wifey/hubby and me in lucknow to wifey/hubby and me Las Vegas. You get every details on their lives ranging from where they holiday , party to where they (ahem ahem) pee.

So if you see a picture with title like "My hotel room and bath in Manali" you know which category user it belongs too ;)

The third category  people post smart quotes from some funny quotes site and then disappear for the rest of the day only to emerge the next day with a fresh quote. They like to portray themselves as the intellectual lot who are using FB for something worthwhile. 
Trust these morons to do away with your desire for food by posting a horrific picture of a disfigured child with some dumb comment like "FB will pay $1 for every share for this cancer stricken" child. 
They are naïve , dumb and unintentionally funny.

The fourth lot is the most social of them all. They will like your all your pictures even if they hardly liked you back in school. In return you have to like them too.On Facebook I mean.

Phew ! "Variety thy name is Facebook"

Now that I have to rush for daily scrum I will see you around on Facebook ;)


  1. Nice.. Let us know under which category do you fall?.

  2. Nice post. Adding to that . There is another category which can be called like Zero category . This breed regularly browses all the posts, messages and notifications but neither they react nor prompt you to react.You can only feel happy by seeing their green button in your frineds side bar.

    1. Thanks Anubhooti.I completely agree and zero category sounds like a good name.