O Mama!

If you ask me about the easiest and the hardest decisions that I have ever made, the answer to both is surprisingly the same.It was deciding to have a baby.

Girls are brought up as nurturers across all the cultures around the world.So on an emotional side you always want to be a mother.But if you think about it practically, you worry about things like finances, leaving your baby and going to work(if you are working), even your own mortality.

You always want to be a better person before you decide to be a Mom.May be financially more secure, more responsible, more matured.And since trying to be a better person is an ongoing process you feel like you are never ready.You are always wondering "Is the time right to have a baby?"

But a saying goes "A mother is born when a baby is born". Some days would be really tough but then motherhood is a happy space to be in.

I also want to express my thoughts through a small poem that I wrote for my beautiful daughter Aarika.

It goes like this :-

Those playful eyes, that naughty smile
That pretence of anger that melts in a while
Her love is something that keeps me strong
It says to me "My Momma you can't be wrong!"

It seems like the calm before the storm
And there the pretty princess sleeps
The promise of a Tornado is in the air
And that my little one surely keeps

There will be times when you go crazy
Its not all beautiful, not all bright
You will be tired and things go wrong
But somehow it always feels so right

You feel so strong, yet so vulnerable
You trust and love like you never could
And that is what I now understand
Is the very essence of motherhood.
---------------------------------------------------------------

Here hoping that she reads it one day :)

Summer's in the Air!

These first few days that announce the onset of summer always fill me with nostalgia.This short span of time well before the heat becomes unbearable brings back a multitude of memories from my childhood.

I would have loved to call them the days of Spring but for the fact that I stay in Hyderabad and there is no Spring in Hyderabad.

Any kind weather change for that matter brings some freshness and also a longing to go back to the golden old days.Doesn't it happen with everyone?

I remember  my husband wishfully telling me every year around Autumn that the air smells like Pooja(He is a Bengali and means Durga pooja) .I guess that is because he has the fondest memories of Durga Pooja from his childhood associated with that particular time of the year.For me the same time of the year smells like Diwali.

But anyways since the sun is shining bright and summers are arriving, I will share some of the simplest form of the summer pleasures that I experienced while growing up.

The first on the list are of course Mangoes.What can beat the fun of stuffing yourself with refrigerated mangoes on a hot summer afternoon?

And what comes a close second? Close your eyes and go back to your childhood homes.It is the moist and cool air of those huge air coolers that used to peep through your bedroom windows.ACs are no match to those giant old soldiers of heat.Yes I know that my daughter will not agree to it but these are my memories and I cherish them.

The glass full of home made lassi or lime juice that welcomed you home after you trudged through the sun was happiness personified.

Since the cable TV invasion had not happened and there were no daily soaps , everyone looked forward to the weekly shows.Chitrahar and Byomkesh Bakshi on Wednesdays, Rangoli and Jungle book on Sundays.

As they say "Those were the days" :)

An then there were power cuts that were meant for playing Antakshari or chit chatting with the friendly aunty next door.

Raw Mangoes, carrots, green chillies were pickled and the jars containing them could be seen on almost every terrace where they soaked up the sunshine.

And yes this was the time when the festival of colors arrived.It was the day when you politely greeted all the  colorful faces that came to wish your family while wondering who the hell are they.When it came to color balloons, no one was spared and most susceptible to the attacks were the sullen uncles and auntys who hated it.

Sitting by the small garden watching flowers in bloom and soaking up the fragrance of the times to come, you could hear the cuckoo bird calling out while perched on a tree nearby.

Those were the times of hope and simple dreams.Those were the times when happiness came to you without being pursued.

PS->You are welcome to share their own memories.Things that make you walk down the memory lane and realize that the "best things in life are free" :)